You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I cannot find my penis.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Randomize
