and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
