I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.