I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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