I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
