of course. lets lasso hookers.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
