Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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