i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
