No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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