Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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