He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Randomize
