I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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