I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she smelled like a LAN party
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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