Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
