No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
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She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
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Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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