It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
