Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
