If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize