apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
