It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
