what day is it and did you see me today?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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