Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
