I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
