Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
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the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
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When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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