No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
