It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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