just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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