I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Randomize
