Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize