honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
