the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
