Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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