like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
