Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
