Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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