Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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