She's JV to your varsity
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
