Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
