Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
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As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
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I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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