pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
whose parrot is this?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
