Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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