oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
