she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
where are my eyebrows?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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