dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
