yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
