yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
