you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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