Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize