elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
