I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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