I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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