You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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