I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death