His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.