While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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