it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
