Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize