Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
