Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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